Friday Jokes...

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Sharkman645

Member +
A drunk was staggering down a street one night just as a nun is coming out of a shop he turns and punches her then kicks her while she is on the ground and yells to her your not so fucking tough tonight batman
 
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DAVID 96 GLANZA V

Member +
theres 3 boys walking down the street called

fuck

shit

manners


shit suddenely collapses so manners stayed with shit helping him up etc.

at the same time fuck runs off to get help..... he sees a policeman and says to the ploiceman help help my friend collapsed! the policeman says hold on boy tell me your name! the boy replies.. fuck is my name! the policeman replies where is your manners young fellow! down the road picking up shit:haha:
 
munday

munday

Member +
DAVID 96 GLANZA V said:
theres 3 boys walking down the street called

fuck

shit

manners


shit suddenely collapses so manners stayed with shit helping him up etc.

at the same time fuck runs off to get help..... he sees a policeman and says to the ploiceman help help my friend collapsed! the policeman says hold on boy tell me your name! the boy replies.. fuck is my name! the policeman replies where is your manners young fellow! down the road picking up shit:haha:
Click to expand...


omg i havnt heard that joke in about 7 years :haha:
 
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Sharkman645

Member +
man walks into a with an octopuss in a cage, he sits down and has a drink the bar man says why have you brought an octopuss with you, the man says i bet you 500 quid it can play any instrument you give it so a person in the bar hands it a guitar and the octopuss plays an amazing tune, another person hands it a flute and it plays another outstanding piece of music. The barman says thats unbeliveable but i have something that it will not be able to play so hands the octopuss a set of bagpipes the octopuss fiddles and turns and turns the bagpipes in a state of confusion, the bar man says aha told you he couldnt play it. The octopuss says, play it! when i get the player pyjamas of it im going to fuck it!!!
 
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Sharkman645

Member +
a blonde walks into an electrical shop and says i would like to buy the tv you have in the window the sales assitant says sorry we dont sell that one to blondes so she pleads and begs with him to sell her it to no avail so she buys a brown haired wig and goes back a few hours later and asks the assistant to buy the tv in the window and again he says no we dont sell it to blondes so she throws the wig on the ground and says why not i really want it and the sales assistant says no cause its a microwave
 
robbie_g

robbie_g

Member +
did you hear about the new micheal jackson burger at mc donnells??

its 44yr old meat between 10yr old bun's !!! :eek::haha::haha:
 
Sheldon

Sheldon

Malta Area Rep.
once i was told this joke that dosnt make sense at all but i dont know why i lol'd for 10 minutes lol!

once there was a maltese bread and french bread and went at the upper barakka in valletta... the maltese bread told the french bread... can i push you?
 
Derek

Derek

Lifer
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?

A stick.

Two fish in a tank, one fish says to the other fish. how the fuck do you drive this thing.
 
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GTEP82

Member +
a guys at work n reali fancy's this bird so he goes up 2 her n says il pay u £200 2 sleep wi u he say's il drop the money on the floor n buy the time u've pickd it up il b done, so she rings her boyfriend n tells him the deal he says easy money just pick it up b4 he can drop his pants n tels her 2 ring him wen shes done it, 2hrs later she rings him bk he says wot took u so lng she replies wi he paid me in penny's lol
 
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GTEP82

Member +
A man wakes up in the morning after a big drinkin sesh walks dwn stairs n his wife is cookin sumthing strange he says wot you cookin that for she replies wi a shrug i'm doin wot u ask me 2 do last nte he says wi a puzzled luk carnt remeber askin you to cook ma sock ;haha
 
stew

stew

Member +
how many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?

none midgets dont need lightbulbs they have night vision
 
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