Most stupid place to stick a frigging filter

Thought to myself today i would do a quick oil change on the car.

OH HOW BLOODY WRONG I WAS.

Kinda panned out like this.

Thought i would look where the filter was put a filter remover on and bobs your uncle.

Happily got all my tools, removed the splashguard from underneath to find a filter guard round the filter. Wasnt sure where this was attached first of all. Took one nut out, bent it a little, got the filter tool on and nothing.

Not a sodding thing moved.

Tried another tool, no joy, 3 of us trying to get our oversized monkey hands into what i can only drescribe as my delicately trying to remove a colon from a rabbits arse.

Anyway after an hour frustration set in, i broke one of the filter tools and became a little emotional. Couldnt access from the top because of all the pipe work, couldnt access from below.

Screwdriver went through the filter... Yeah for those of you that know.... The fucking pulley wheels are in the way so i couldnt get any leverage on it...


Off comes the front wheel.

BANG BANG BANG goes a nice foot long screwdriver, WD40 was flying through the air like a copper going mad with mace and it finally gave its first sign of movement.

Again the screwdriver pierced the filter like a jumped up hoody with his penknife in camden......

FINALLY....

the filter gave way....

It was a mangled mess however it had the last laugh when it showed me that the spotty fucking 16 year old minimum wage earning crack head in wilco had given me the wrong filter. The ilter he gave me in comparison looked like something from a lancaster bomber.

So i off i go running up town to a shop that said they had the filter, i arrived like an asthmatic sprinter to find they weren't sure if it was the right one.

I took it though and managed to fit it on the car.

Now 3 and half bloody hours later i have cut arms,a mangled filter, an unfitted splash guard and the tolerance of a schizophrenic serial killer ........

Now before you thikn i am a retard that didnt know what he was doing, i did. I prepped, had all my tools etc. Lesson to be learned is that next time a fat balding twat you're buying your car from says the oil has been changed ( which it had ) look at the size of his mobid obesity ridden midriff and sak yourself..A. did he really get that under a starlet, B. Has the filter been changed.

Mine appeared to still have the original filter on it from Japan.
NIce weather though.
 
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Rik

Member +
Wowzer, glad I didnt have as much trouble with mine! Stupid place to get too though. I just left my filter guard off haha...I guess this is why they invent relocation kits for 'em eh! Just think though, this filter won't be as hard to change in future :) same goes for anything else that is replaced...stuff gets fair stuck on after many years! lol
 
just be warned is all i say.

next time i read a tutorial on here i'm not going to ever believe things will be so easy...

When i had my scoob filter was just under front bumper, didnt even need to jack car :)
 

*starlet_babe*

Member +
You went to wilco's?! Lol Wouldn't trust them with a barge pole Lol Anyways where you from?!

Got to laugh
:) 110% effort tho hun :)
 

gv1.3

Admin
filter change is simple if using the right tool... it took me ages to do it first time but after I got the proper tool for the job it became a 10 minute affair.

PS: since removing the air conditioning I can now get the filter off by hand in about 20 seconds.

PPS: I couldnt even find the filter the first time I went to service the car cause it was so tucked away!
 

59bhp

Member +
exact same thing happened to me, filter stuck, screwdriver through it, wrong filter, the lot.

Once u replace it its easy to get off as you have to do it every 3000 miles so its doesnt get seized on, can do mine with just my hands and everything still in place (air con etc) its all about technique lol
 

Craig

Lifer
filter change is simple if using the right tool... it took me ages to do it first time but after I got the proper tool for the job it became a 10 minute affair.

PS: since removing the air conditioning I can now get the filter off by hand in about 20 seconds.

PPS: I couldnt even find the filter the first time I went to service the car cause it was so tucked away!

x2

Nice write up btw :p
 

Gilly2006

Member +
i remember doing mine for the first time with my m8, took us half an hour to find it! and getting it off was a nitemare! even the screw driver trick wasn't working!!!
 

Gord R

Member +
Haha , oh man that did make me chuckle!

Theres nothing worse than being in a situation like that!

Thankfully mine has a relocation kit and the filter is accesible.Best mod on the car!
 

smythy75

Member +
deperate...lol...its a hard life!

the length of time writing that u cudda had ur splash gaurd back on! lol!
 

Guye

Lifer
First thing i read on this site today and it made the visit worthwhile. Sorry but I had to laugh at your woes and your skillful story telling. It was a very enjoyable read. :D
 
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