Bestman's speech opening lines / jokes

Discussion in 'Chill Out Room' started by Gryzor, Dec 15, 2010.

  1. Gryzor

    Gryzor Administrator

    I'm best man for the brother's wedding this weekend. I've most of a speech written but I'm not too happy with the opening joke, anyone have any suggestions ?
     
  2. Blak_Mamber

    Blak_Mamber Paid Member

    I wanna hear the opening joke that you've got already :p
     
  3. Corey_gt

    Corey_gt Administrator

    Id just like to statrt of by saying
    knowledge is knowing a tomato is
    a fruit. Thats what Id use lol.
     
  4. Gryzor

    Gryzor Administrator

    Ladies & gentlemen, it's been such an exciting day that I'm absolutely speechless...
    which is probably very good news for most of you.
     
  5. starbuck

    starbuck Registered User +

    Thats bound to get some laughs. Nice and simples
     
  6. Blak_Mamber

    Blak_Mamber Paid Member

    I like that one lol.
     
  7. Johnny_C

    Johnny_C Paid Member

    ever heard of the house key one richie?
     
  8. Derek

    Derek Paid Member

    Id start by saying, If i could say a few words id be a better public speaker.
     
  9. glanzanut

    glanzanut Paid Member

    "You're going to love being married, (name). It's great you found that one special person you can annoy for the rest of your life."
     
  10. Sharkman645

    Sharkman645 Registered User +

    ive been told by (grooms name) that if i do a good best mans speech today i can do it again at his next wedding
     
  11. wesgt

    wesgt Paid Member

    funny but may not go down too well :haha:
     
  12. malcolmgt

    malcolmgt Paid Member

    hahhahahahaha but has to be done!
     
  13. Sharkman645

    Sharkman645 Registered User +

    It went down well at my friends wedding just depends on the crowd lol
     
  14. weeJohn

    weeJohn Paid Member

    Thats the one I would use, but I would have something to move onto quickly if it doesn`t go down so well.
     
  15. danb87

    danb87 South East England Area Rep

    lastw eddin i went too, the best man used, i want too wish mark an katie (katie being the worng name) all the best for the future. oh shit my mistake !!!

    people loved it. apart from the bride, which is normal. brides do not like best man lol
     
  16. GTadvanceEP82

    GTadvanceEP82 Registered User +

    My brother done a big massive one at me other brothers wedding, he done sum speech
    he goes i guess you could say marriage is like the game of football, ya work hard all week and ya make sure to score on the weekend ha
    then he done a shit load more ha, he said the part about if i could say a few wrods id be a better public speaker too ha
    must try think of sum the shite he said ha

    some crack listening to a best mans speech, your goin the right route of saying sumtin funny!! everyone loves it liek that!
     
  17. pig666eon

    pig666eon Paid Member

    heard this somewhere....

    where would he be without family and friends who love em..... point at him and say.... right there! haha
     
  18. GTadvanceEP82

    GTadvanceEP82 Registered User +

    hahahaha the bride will love it!!!!!! hahahaha bet ya the bride would pure hate ya for that haha
     
  19. Vglanza

    Vglanza Paid Member

    We done this at a wedding of my mates, Best Man give everyman in the place a key, and asked for all of the Brides Ex's too leave in there house key's then he done the same for the groom, Only instead of everyone coming up i came bursting through the door Dressed up as a Prostitute From Amsterdam(went there for the stag) and threw the key at him, needless to say it got a few laughs.
     
  20. Jay

    Jay Admin

    A mate used this at his own wedding:

    "I'm sure I'm not the first man to get off a comfortable seat with a sweaty rag of paper in his hand..."
     

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