'i left her with a face like a painters radio'
'a fanny like a yawing donkey'
'i wouldnt ride her into battle'
'she had a fanny like a stab wound in a gorillas back'
'looks like she's been duckin for apples in a chip pan'
'she's had more hands up her than a mexican wave'
'a face that would make an onion cry'
'so ugly a sniper wouldnt take her out'
'twas like shaggin a bucket of water'