sx_turbo
Lifer
done that, she says she doesnt know, and she wont even touch me, as if its disgusting.
yes i strayed once, and i know it was wrong, and there is no excuses.
(man i cant beleive i posted this on here, i just needed a chat)
***need relationship advice***
- Thread starter sx_turbo
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done that, she says she doesnt know, and she wont even touch me, as if its disgusting.
yes i strayed once, and i know it was wrong, and there is no excuses.
(man i cant beleive i posted this on here, i just needed a chat)
wel i think it was rather big of you 2 admit the mistake n want a chat as most men would hide away n not want chat bout it!
good luck
azerty
Supermoderator
noboby can decide for you, nobody can realy understand and be in your situation other than you...
my opinion is that you cannot pay for someone else mistakes... if the situation hasn't changed after one year, there are big chance it won't never change if nothing is done to change things...
Also, we are probably missing loads of info to be able to help you. She might not have tell you all the truth too... as she has been psychology heavily hurt. She might even use this story to hide other things. Do you know her ex boyfriend? or do you know anyone who would know the guy? you might get answers on that side...
you could tell her that you realy love her, but unfortunatly your relashionship might have hapen at the wrong time and is unfortunatly not working. it might be better to stop things and try to live each ones on you sides even if you both know you won't forgot each others...
if both of you are realy meant to be togeither, well future will say.... and then she will be the one who will want to have sex with you !
Once again, nobody can realy help you without knowing both of you. Put your heart on the side. and try to think like you were a third person looking at your relashionship. then decide...
my opinion is that you cannot pay for someone else mistakes... if the situation hasn't changed after one year, there are big chance it won't never change if nothing is done to change things...
Also, we are probably missing loads of info to be able to help you. She might not have tell you all the truth too... as she has been psychology heavily hurt. She might even use this story to hide other things. Do you know her ex boyfriend? or do you know anyone who would know the guy? you might get answers on that side...
you could tell her that you realy love her, but unfortunatly your relashionship might have hapen at the wrong time and is unfortunatly not working. it might be better to stop things and try to live each ones on you sides even if you both know you won't forgot each others...
if both of you are realy meant to be togeither, well future will say.... and then she will be the one who will want to have sex with you !
Once again, nobody can realy help you without knowing both of you. Put your heart on the side. and try to think like you were a third person looking at your relashionship. then decide...
Cooch
Member +
Ricky i'd like to think i know you a lil better than a few on here and i know you're a good bloke. Straying was wrong there's no 2 ways about it but you've seeb your mistake and no that you were wrong so its not too bad. She shouldnt be holding something from the past against you mate as you havent done anything wrong and she should see you as you are. All you gota do to find the answer man is think of how much you love her and hopefully then you will no what to do. If you need a chat you know where i am Ricky.
as fas as i know your GF has a mental issue with sex(by bad expiriance in the past)
this means see rejects sex, metaly as fisicaly.
i think both of you should go to a treathment for this, for your GF to get over the bad pass and for you to help her on this issue.
I have know people who sufferd from the same problems and got over it, but to say "yes i have a problem" is very hard.
this means see rejects sex, metaly as fisicaly.
i think both of you should go to a treathment for this, for your GF to get over the bad pass and for you to help her on this issue.
I have know people who sufferd from the same problems and got over it, but to say "yes i have a problem" is very hard.
Kelly
Member +
sx_turbo
Lifer
cheers guys,
i dont want any body to make a decision for me, i just needed to let it out my system and hear other peoples veiws.
i dont really have a big circle of freinds, if i'm honest
and at the moment my best freind has just seeing my gf's best mate, and there all over each other etc etc etc so i cant really talk to him at the mo, another freind is the person i slept with i have other freinds but not really able to talk to them.
i can talk on here as i am hiding behind a computer screen and only 1 person on here knows me.
i dont want any body to make a decision for me, i just needed to let it out my system and hear other peoples veiws.
i dont really have a big circle of freinds, if i'm honest
and at the moment my best freind has just seeing my gf's best mate, and there all over each other etc etc etc so i cant really talk to him at the mo, another freind is the person i slept with i have other freinds but not really able to talk to them.
i can talk on here as i am hiding behind a computer screen and only 1 person on here knows me.
sx_turbo
Lifer
there you go Rick that spelling should cheer you up
lol yeah that cheered me up a bit.
rb69
Member +
There's always rohyphnol!
No don't, just trying to lighten it up a bit.
Sounds like a hard one this. Don't beat yourself up about it. If it was me, i would give it longer and, obviously not push her. Only you yourself can decide if you really love her, if you do i think its definitely worth holding on to. Sex isn't everything but, it's obviously bothering you. From personal experience, I've found the best way to sort any problems in a relationship is to talk about them. She may feel just like you, but can't think of anyway to get it off her chest without feeling embarrassed.
No don't, just trying to lighten it up a bit.
Sounds like a hard one this. Don't beat yourself up about it. If it was me, i would give it longer and, obviously not push her. Only you yourself can decide if you really love her, if you do i think its definitely worth holding on to. Sex isn't everything but, it's obviously bothering you. From personal experience, I've found the best way to sort any problems in a relationship is to talk about them. She may feel just like you, but can't think of anyway to get it off her chest without feeling embarrassed.
scotty12347
Fresh Recruit
to e honest at 22 you shouldnt be facing problems like this, as said before if youv given it a year and nothing has changed what says that the next year wont be any different.
the fact that you cheated on her tells you tht you shouldnt be together, you should be out having fun, i know its hard to tell on the internet but it definately sounds liek its bringing you down.
to be honest if it was me i would have finished it long ago, plenty more in the sea and all that.
the fact that you cheated on her tells you tht you shouldnt be together, you should be out having fun, i know its hard to tell on the internet but it definately sounds liek its bringing you down.
to be honest if it was me i would have finished it long ago, plenty more in the sea and all that.
sx_turbo
Lifer
it never used to bother me, only recently as i feel the relationship not really going anywhere, and i cant help but feel that she thinks of me as 'just a thing' that is an annoyance, we have talked about it, and she understands or at least says she does.
she asked me once why i want to have sex and i said its because it what people in love do, its all about that special bond 2 people have and i beleive sex helps that bond. she then said that she doesnt really feel the need for sex, but can understand my point, and then explained that its because of what happened in the past. and that sometimes i frighten her as she just sees her ex staring at her whenever we get to that 'point'. and that really hurt me.
The past happened 3 years ago now.
sx_turbo
Lifer
i did then we got back together a week before i strayed. what i'm frightened of the most is that the next year wont be any different to this year.
all you guys are right i know what i gotta do,
Glanza Pat
Member +
As said before i think you should give it one more chance by asking her to get some professional help with you. Tell her you will support her and help as much as you can as long as you both are progressing towards something. If you stay togetehr and things keep going along the same way you may find yourself resenting her and turning to other people more often. It sounds like the quicker you sort it out the better it will be.
Just my 2p. Whatever happens I hope it works out for the best.
Just my 2p. Whatever happens I hope it works out for the best.
sx_turbo
Lifer
well we had a couple of weeks apart, without talking to each other, i was lovin every second of it to, till she sent me a text, and i realised i did miss her, thats when we sat down and talked about things, she said she was gonna change but 6weeks and there is still no difference.
thing is i really enjoy being with her, except when she always saying excuses.
i pointed out all the things i didnt like with her behaviour towards me, and i thn asked her to tell me wot things i was doing wrong and she said she cant think of anything.
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sx_turbo
Lifer
tried that lol
i dont wanna seem like i'm making excuses for all of the suggestions that have been made, but this is why i'm so frustrated i seem to have tried everything.
Iain@CRD
Lifer
Ricky, it takes courage to post something like this on a forum so you got my respect there bud, but i dont think you could have asked much better people for advice.
First off Ricky we might not know eachother apart from on the forums but i can relate to this in a very big way. I think your girlfriend is just looking for you to be there and comfort her without the sex just now.
Its pathetic what her ex has put her through and im sure you dont want to be reminded of that and neither her, but she might feel preasured into sex. Relationships at your age, sex is a big involvement and that could be why shes feeling preasued and not trying as hard.
Ill send you a u2u as well mate because my girlfriend went through something similar and its not really something i should be posting on a forum (no offence).
You both clearly love each other, you dont go with someone for a year for no reason at all, but i bet you found it just as hard as she did when you both split up for 2 weeks. Nothing on your minds but eachother.
I think she just needs time mate, maybe longer than you expect. Remember what happened to her might have scared her mentally at the moment and sex could bring back memorys she doesnt want mate.
Best things come to those who wait.
Iain.
First off Ricky we might not know eachother apart from on the forums but i can relate to this in a very big way. I think your girlfriend is just looking for you to be there and comfort her without the sex just now.
Its pathetic what her ex has put her through and im sure you dont want to be reminded of that and neither her, but she might feel preasured into sex. Relationships at your age, sex is a big involvement and that could be why shes feeling preasued and not trying as hard.
Ill send you a u2u as well mate because my girlfriend went through something similar and its not really something i should be posting on a forum (no offence).
You both clearly love each other, you dont go with someone for a year for no reason at all, but i bet you found it just as hard as she did when you both split up for 2 weeks. Nothing on your minds but eachother.
I think she just needs time mate, maybe longer than you expect. Remember what happened to her might have scared her mentally at the moment and sex could bring back memorys she doesnt want mate.
Best things come to those who wait.
Iain.