Iain@CRD
Lifer
After my last thread of advice things started to improve until just lately.
To start with i came to the decision that it was best for me and his mother to stay just friends, i lost that first feeling i had for her.
Since my son Lewis was born on 11th of March ive managed to unfold some truth along the line.
Intially when my son was born, his mother said to everyone that knew .. i wasent to know about him being born. Cant begin to say how hard that feels to take in but ill tell you once that sword is out my back ...
Since 11th March i get to see my son .. once a week. Its the hardest thing to live by knowing i only get to see my son once and knowing that when he stares at me, thoughts go through my head saying, i bet he doesnt know who i am, im probally just another stranger because i dont see him as often as everyone else.
Yet, i cant take him out for a walk, to my house to meet my family as its only my sister thats saw him, make up his bottles, change him, be there through the night and in the morning for him because SHE wont allow it. I want to experience bringing up my son just as much as she does but it feels like im not being allowed to. Dont i just have as much of a say as she does? Im his father and always been the mature one out of us two. One night i was up seeing him, bloody 6 guys came in with bottles of cider and tracksuits on while my sons sleeping in my arms and there trying to turn up the music, thats how the imaturity bit comes into it.
I was talking to her today as an example, i said to her that i couldnt make it up on Wednesday as i was going to Manchester for the day, i asked if we could change it to another evening at somepoint in the week and she said she was busy ... what busy every minute of the day? ... i then asked who will be looking after Lewis as she said she was working in the evening ... her responce was her mates mum. I've agreed to change it when she had plans on a Wednesday to suit her needs but as soon as i ask i have it flung straight back at me.
This situation is driving me crazy and affecting me everyday in my life. She made comments that when have i ever been a father to him, all i do is come up and hold him and feed him, i wasent the one carrying him for 9 months, make his bottles, there in the mornings, when hes crying, change him etc etc .. but shes the one that wont bloody let me!
It now feels like i have 2 choices ... i either try and continue with it or go seek legal advice. If she finds out tho that ive been to seek legal advice she will probally try and stop me from seeing him, obviously only until the courts decide but courts and lawyers are slow as hell, now im stuck inbetween two choices.
All i want to be is a good dad, im trying my hardest to be one but it seems like at the end of every street im stuck with a dead-end that prevents me from moving forward.
Iain
To start with i came to the decision that it was best for me and his mother to stay just friends, i lost that first feeling i had for her.
Since my son Lewis was born on 11th of March ive managed to unfold some truth along the line.
Intially when my son was born, his mother said to everyone that knew .. i wasent to know about him being born. Cant begin to say how hard that feels to take in but ill tell you once that sword is out my back ...
Since 11th March i get to see my son .. once a week. Its the hardest thing to live by knowing i only get to see my son once and knowing that when he stares at me, thoughts go through my head saying, i bet he doesnt know who i am, im probally just another stranger because i dont see him as often as everyone else.
Yet, i cant take him out for a walk, to my house to meet my family as its only my sister thats saw him, make up his bottles, change him, be there through the night and in the morning for him because SHE wont allow it. I want to experience bringing up my son just as much as she does but it feels like im not being allowed to. Dont i just have as much of a say as she does? Im his father and always been the mature one out of us two. One night i was up seeing him, bloody 6 guys came in with bottles of cider and tracksuits on while my sons sleeping in my arms and there trying to turn up the music, thats how the imaturity bit comes into it.
I was talking to her today as an example, i said to her that i couldnt make it up on Wednesday as i was going to Manchester for the day, i asked if we could change it to another evening at somepoint in the week and she said she was busy ... what busy every minute of the day? ... i then asked who will be looking after Lewis as she said she was working in the evening ... her responce was her mates mum. I've agreed to change it when she had plans on a Wednesday to suit her needs but as soon as i ask i have it flung straight back at me.
This situation is driving me crazy and affecting me everyday in my life. She made comments that when have i ever been a father to him, all i do is come up and hold him and feed him, i wasent the one carrying him for 9 months, make his bottles, there in the mornings, when hes crying, change him etc etc .. but shes the one that wont bloody let me!
It now feels like i have 2 choices ... i either try and continue with it or go seek legal advice. If she finds out tho that ive been to seek legal advice she will probally try and stop me from seeing him, obviously only until the courts decide but courts and lawyers are slow as hell, now im stuck inbetween two choices.
All i want to be is a good dad, im trying my hardest to be one but it seems like at the end of every street im stuck with a dead-end that prevents me from moving forward.
Iain