Csa

[Phil]

well i get what you mean kelly, but imagine that ok it take two to tango, and the girl knows whats shes doing just a much as the fella, she wants the baby, he wants her and the baby, then she gives him the fingers and says, how about, i have the baby and your money, without you?

id be pissed right off! lol

it should be more like old times, we would have more stable marriages if the woman had to stay with the man to get his money, and if she didnt want that then whoever she decides to go with after that should no the burden he's getting himself in for and pay for it!

Phil

 

[Dave.]

Its a horrendously flawed operation in my eyes.

Of course I'm not saying I could do better, but as with all schemes like this, it'll be flawed at first and take time to rectify.

Dave

 

[Kelly]

The System is screwed up in many sences, I totally agree that a father should finace a part of a childs upbringing but at the same time they need to take in to consideration peoples out going like rent, gas, elec, water etc if they can't afford the basic things anymore because the CSA are taking a large amount of there money when the parent with care can easily afford to bring the child up on there own without the csa and clearly states that then why can't they reduce payments so the parent without care can still live happily.

They need to take a look at how much it costs a month the bring a child up and split that between the parents of the child rather than taking it all from the father, I'd happily be the parent with care and at the same time i'd be happy to recieve what im paying i'd be rich.

+ if i was to move out with a partner or get married they take her income in to account and then asses the household so that i end up paying more, They can take anything between 15 and 40% i think, But its pathetic that if the mother with care re-marrys etc why don't they take that in to account?
At the end of the day it shouldnt have anything to do with new partners, they didnt make they child, why should they have to pay? Shame it only works one way...

Rep for input Phil and Kelly!

Really? As far as i was aware they only took my ex's wage into consideration i dont think they ask any details of what his partner is earning?

Its a tricky situation as i dont think you could ever guess or work out how much it cost to bring a child up. One month can be ok ish and the next month can be a nightmare! my son is 5 now and just started school quite an expensive time.

 

[Kelly]

well i get what you mean kelly, but imagine that ok it take two to tango, and the girl knows whats shes doing just a much as the fella, she wants the baby, he wants her and the baby, then she gives him the fingers and says, how about, i have the baby and your money, without you?

id be pissed right off! lol

it should be more like old times, we would have more stable marriages if the woman had to stay with the man to get his money, and if she didnt want that then whoever she decides to go with after that should no the burden he's getting himself in for and pay for it!

Phil

True those situations must happen i guess and all i can say is i feel sorry for the child involved as they will suffer at some point if thats what the mothers attitude is like.

Me and my ex were together 5years in total and i fell pregnant 3yrs after being together. So im hoping that i dont fall into that category for you

Too many ppl have children now for the wrong reasons, the money off the csa, the benefits they recieve and i dont know why as i really think actually bringing children up is more expensive and emotionally tiring than anything they recieve.

 

[lingl9z]

Really? As far as i was aware they only took my ex's wage into consideration i dont think they ask any details of what his partner is earning?

Its a tricky situation as i dont think you could ever guess or work out how much it cost to bring a child up. One month can be ok ish and the next month can be a nightmare! my son is 5 now and just started school quite an expensive time.

Yeah totally makes sence Kelly, I had a convo with a worker at the CSA and they told me that they do now and spoken to quiet a few others that have had it done to them which i dont thinks fair!

They should do things in a different way, eg. what ever the mother spends on the child per month should be split 50/50 with reciepts to prove... or atleast take payouts in to account =(

 

[Kelly]

Yeah totally makes sence Kelly, I had a convo with a worker at the CSA and they told me that they do now and spoken to quiet a few others that have had it done to them which i dont thinks fair!

They should do things in a different way, eg. what ever the mother spends on the child per month should be split 50/50 with reciepts to prove... or atleast take payouts in to account =(

Maybe they already split it 50/50 i.e if the standard amount is 15% of income then maybe they originally worked out that the average cost of bringing up children is 30%? Surely there must have taken things like that into consideration.

I know if you feel that your ex partner is living beyond their means i.e if you see them driving round in a 60k car etc than you can contact the csa and ask their earnings to be looked at again.

 

[Phil]

True those situations must happen i guess and all i can say is i feel sorry for the child involved as they will suffer at some point if thats what the mothers attitude is like.

Me and my ex were together 5years in total and i fell pregnant 3yrs after being together. So im hoping that i dont fall into that category for you

Too many ppl have children now for the wrong reasons, the money off the csa, the benefits they recieve and i dont know why as i really think actually bringing children up is more expensive and emotionally tiring than anything they recieve.

nah i only think youd fall into that catogory if he stilll wanted to be with you and the wee nipper and you didnt! dont look like it cause you said he moved away once you broke up!

id say too many women have children for the wrong reasons, i know a few! lol
fellas or at least i, would suffer real depression if i wasnt self sufficent.

but yeah every situ is different and terrible from a separate angle!

Phil

 

[lingl9z]

Its a horrendously flawed operation in my eyes.

Of course I'm not saying I could do better, but as with all schemes like this, it'll be flawed at first and take time to rectify.

Dave

They've been around about 10years i think and before hand they use to take payouts in to account, however they decided to stop this as people would lie about payouts etc, although all it would have taken to prove it would be Statements over a few months, that way they could see etc, they tried telling me to get rid of my car as that'd cut out petrol + insurance etc but without my car i can't get to work at silly hours being on call etc, hence needing a contract phone as i've gotta make alot of work related calls!

 

[lingl9z]

Maybe they already split it 50/50 i.e if the standard amount is 15% of income then maybe they originally worked out that the average cost of bringing up children is 30%? Surely there must have taken things like that into consideration.

I know if you feel that your ex partner is living beyond their means i.e if you see them driving round in a 60k car etc than you can contact the csa and ask their earnings to be looked at again.

I asked the CSA if they take there income in to account and they told me they didnt, they said 15% basic for all people inless you quit your job and go on the dole as you'd be better off only having to pay £5 a week... now if there telling me that surely you can see somthings wrong? i pride myself in the fact i've worked since leaving school!

 

[Kelly]

nah i only think youd fall into that catogory if he stilll wanted to be with you and the wee nipper and you didnt! dont look like it cause you said he moved away once you broke up!

Yes but even that isnt enough to speculate as when we broke up my ex didnt want to split and yes it did upset him lots, but i can recall the last year of the relationship being hellish , being sworn at, name called, having the house smashed up whenever he went into a rage etc sometimes u have to be strong and end it before it grows into something major. And ppl change wether they are aware of themselves or not. He was not the same person he was when we met

Anyways will stop rambling on beatz thread.

 

[Kelly]

I asked the CSA if they take there income in to account and they told me they didnt, they said 15% basic for all people inless you quit your job and go on the dole as you'd be better off only having to pay £5 a week... now if there telling me that surely you can see somthings wrong? i pride myself in the fact i've worked since leaving school!

Yeh i can see what your saying.

Do you honestly think that you would spend less than 15% of your income on family/child related issues if you was stil together though? But i guess everyone would answer that question differently too. Its a very touchy subject.

 

[lingl9z]

Yeh i can see what your saying.

Do you honestly think that you would spend less than 15% of your income on family/child related issues if you was stil together though? But i guess everyone would answer that question differently too. Its a very touchy subject.

Yeah i recon if the child was living with me i'd be spending around 10% of my wages on him and thats without any contributions from the ex, hence her living it up!

 

[Kelly]

Yeah i recon if the child was living with me i'd be spending around 10% of my wages on him and thats without any contributions from the ex, hence her living it up!

My son is 5 at the moment and just started school every year the expense of bringing him up goes up and up imo.

But i bet if i was the one having to pay so much money then i would be seeing things from your point of view more. If that makes sense.

My ex bought our son a nintendo wii for xmas and lots and lots of games, but he's not allowed to bring it home with him. It stays at his dads house (which again is 230miles away and he stays there approx 3weeks out of the whole year) that really annoyed me as it just seems like was an excuse to buy one for themselves but then i think well they probably think our house is all geared up coz of his csa money which is not the case at all.

 

[Phil]

yeah i suppsoe if your happily together with two parents and thier own children then they could well spend 15% on them. alot of parents spent everything they have after bills on their kids! but then they get to see what they put in!

if they are cut off then its impossible to really appreciate what it is costing you, it'll always just seem like a terrible mess.

anyway back to csa lol

Phil

 

[Phil]

My son is 5 at the moment and just started school every year the expense of bringing him up goes up and up imo.

But i bet if i was the one having to pay so much money then i would be seeing things from your point of view more. If that makes sense.

My ex bought our son a nintendo wii for xmas and lots and lots of games, but he's not allowed to bring it home with him. It stays at his dads house (which again is 230miles away and he stays there approx 3weeks out of the whole year) that really annoyed me as it just seems like was an excuse to buy one for themselves but then i think well they probably think our house is all geared up coz of his csa money which is not the case at all.

but does all his csa money go on the child and what he wants or needs? see that would send me insane, even the thought that i was paying for someones else anything lol kind of the oppsite of what i said at the start. but yeah it would annoy me big time.

heck of got to stop thinkin about all this crap lol im feelling pregnant as we speak. lol

Phil

 

[lingl9z]

but does all his csa money go on the child and what he wants or needs? see that would send me insane, even the thought that i was paying for someones else anything lol kind of the oppsite of what i said at the start. but yeah it would annoy me big time.

heck of got to stop thinkin about all this crap lol im feelling pregnant as we speak. lol

Phil

Lol Phil, it's pretty clear to me that not all the money goes to my child and is the same in most cases, I wouldnt feel so hard done by if i got to A - See my kid and B - Was on the birth certificate! =[

 

[Kelly]

Lingl9z -- just to show how every case is different my ex is on the birth certificate my son even has his last name (as i never ever knew we would split up) and like i said he comes up once a fortnight to see him. And for example during half term in Feb we are going down south to visit bens family and we are taking ryan with us and dropping him off at his dads to stay with him for the week. We do this often for them i.e incorporate visiting family with when they can have Ryan as it saves them a 230mile trip each way just to pick him up.


Phil- I wouldnt like to calculate the cost of having my son seems very in humane if you know what i mean but it changes life soo much. Just general things like, food shopping bill, new clothes for his ever growing body, toys, childcare, school dinners, school uniform, school trips, silly things like i wouldnt use half as much petrol as i do if i didnt have take my son school (we live a few miles away from school as i wanted him go to a decent one , the same one his father went too and agrees with the choice) i work late hours to suit my son. I mean if you wanted be petty you could state how much more gas an electricty you use from bringing up children. You dont want them ever being cold, you bath them so much. But its were you draw the line. I think you only have to look at couples with similair incomes and see how much better financially one couple does without children compared to the one with children to see what a strain it has an your resources!

I mean i would be bitter if i was paying towards a child and my ex partner lived in a very nice house, went on plenty holidays had expensive cars etc etc i would wonder how much of my money was going towards their lifestyle so i can see father's frustrations in those cases.

 

[lingl9z]

Lingl9z -- just to show how every case is different my ex is on the birth certificate my son even has his last name (as i never ever knew we would split up) and like i said he comes up once a fortnight to see him. And for example during half term in Feb we are going down south to visit bens family and we are taking ryan with us and dropping him off at his dads to stay with him for the week. We do this often for them i.e incorporate visiting family with when they can have Ryan as it saves them a 230mile trip each way just to pick him up.


Phil- I wouldnt like to calculate the cost of having my son seems very in humane if you know what i mean but it changes life soo much. Just general things like, food shopping bill, new clothes for his ever growing body, toys, childcare, school dinners, school uniform, school trips, silly things like i wouldnt use half as much petrol as i do if i didnt have take my son school (we live a few miles away from school as i wanted him go to a decent one , the same one his father went too and agrees with the choice) i work late hours to suit my son. I mean if you wanted be petty you could state how much more gas an electricty you use from bringing up children. You dont want them ever being cold, you bath them so much. But its were you draw the line. I think you only have to look at couples with similair incomes and see how much better financially one couple does without children compared to the one with children to see what a strain it has an your resources!

I mean i would be bitter if i was paying towards a child and my ex partner lived in a very nice house, went on plenty holidays had expensive cars etc etc i would wonder how much of my money was going towards their lifestyle so i can see father's frustrations in those cases.

Indeed Kelly your case seems alot different to mine and sounds about right, especially if you had a mutual agreement and he breeched it, what does he expect! and im glad you let your son see his dad and visa versa wish i had that oppertunity!

 

[Kelly]

Awwwww like i said earlier you can get custody order but it means spending quite alot of money on legal fee's etc

 

[lingl9z]

Awwwww like i said earlier you can get custody order but it means spending quite alot of money on legal fee's etc

Indeed I tried that used legal aid at first but used up all my allowances, then started getting charged and i couldnt afford to carry on because my money was already going to the csa! oh well live and learn hey.