funny sayings....

G

GTdan

In The Closet
was at kelly & bens last night with Dan and mike, and got talking about funny sayings.

one kelly didnt know was - pissing like a race horse (i would urinate alot lol)

and a corker mike came out with when seeing a nice lady....i'd hit that like a ginger step child....im still laughing now.

So what funny sayings do you commonly say/heard?
 
B

bridgo

Fresh Recruit
How could she not have heard "pissing like a race horse" thats been around for years.

Heres a few more goodens we use a bit:

"Id ate the balls off a low flying duck"------- Im hungry
"Id ate the hand off a small child"-------Im hungry also
"She'd eat the arse off a rag doll through a cane chair"----Girl with mad teeth
"Im sweating like a phedo in a barney costume"---------Im very hot
"She'd suck the barnicles off a boat"--------Explains itself:p
 
G

GTdan

In The Closet
dan - im still in hysterics now thinking about it!!

More ive thought off....

could eat a monkeys abortion - rather hank
she'd scare a police horse - not very pretty
 
Kelly

Kelly

Member +
LOL its not my fault im not as old as you lot

i use love -

"she fell out ugly tree and hit every branch on way down"

"im so hungry i could eat a scabby horse" --- who eats a scabby horse~? lol
 
C

CTR_Timmy

Guest
Is these sayings a nothern thing as i never heard these ones before. Mind you its like the Peter Kay stand up - wouldnt touch him with a barge pole! Who's got a barge poll? lmao.
 
dan

dan

Member +
Kelly said:
LOL its not my fault im not as old as you lot

i use love -

"she fell out ugly tree and hit every branch on way down"

"im so hungry i could eat a scabby horse" --- who eats a scabby horse~? lol
Click to expand...

whaoh, back up missy. I aint much older than you.
 
Jaak

Jaak

Member +
"Im so lazy, I'll even marry a pregnant woman"
"Im so excited like a budgie on steriods!"
"She's got so many wrinkles, she has to screw her hat on"
"He's such a thief, he's praying under an alias"

"He's so short, he can't tell if he has a sore throught or a hernia."
 
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C

CTR_Timmy

Guest
Put ronan on - heating (ronan keating)
Want a Britney - beer (britney spears)
Having a bubble - Your having a laugh

Few southern sayings
 
Craig_GT

Craig_GT

Lifer
Since i live with 3 woman-family members might i add (im not that lucky lol)
I say "who lit the fuse on your tampon?" quite alot..

Others:

"Hingin like a council fence" ---Hungover!

"teeth like a burnt fence" --- self explanitory

"bored oot ma scone" --- bored lol
 
Franza1

Franza1

Supermoderator & Area Reps Manager
" I'd Ate a Scabby Horse and the jockey that rode in on him "
" She'd/he'd eat an Apple through a letter box " ( Woman/man with Big teeth )
" The Craic was 90 " it was Great fun
" Are You For Flakes? " Do you want cereal
" Your Goosed " Your F**ked
" She's got more chins than a Chinese phone book " A large woman
" I'm as sick as a plane to Lourdes. " Really sick
" He's so bad I'd get up on the crack of dawn/ Cracked plate " He'd have " Sexual Relations " With anyone
" I'd crawl a million miles across broken glass to kiss the exhaust of the van that took her dirty knickers to the laundry. " She's A fine bit of woman
" She's No show pony but would do for a ride around the house. / Do for a poke when the telly's broke " She's Ugly but i still would
" she could breastfeed a crèche " A Woman with large Breasts
" Not even the tide would take her out / Mother Teresa wouldn't kiss her. / A sniper wouldn't take her out. / The Titanic wouldn't go down on her / ya wouldn't ride her into battle / If I'd a bag of bruised willies I wouldn't give her one / She wouldn't get a kick in a stampede / If I'd a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't let her look over the wall. " She's not the best looking
" Give her a boot in the arse and a bucket of mickeys would fall out of her " She's a bit of a slapper.

I'll Put in more if i think of em later BTW i have a book on em :p
 
rb69

rb69

Member +
"Sweating like Michael Barrymore at the swimming baths" - For when its very warm.

"I'd lick Carlos Tevez's neck just to hit that" - When you spot an attractive female that you would like to have sexual relations with.

"She's seen more helmet than Hitler" - Used to describe an easy woman.

"It would be like throwing a sausage down the high street" - Use when imagining what it would be like to sleep with the easy woman.
 
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